Her (My) Child

In the ward, it’s quiet. She is unconscious. There’s an oxygen mask on her face. I sit down beside her and lie my face against her belly.
“ I hate you, Koshkina… ” I whisper, gasping, squeezing her cool fingers.
“ Why the hell did you show up in my life again? ”
In my chest, something like a painful supernova bursts—deafening me with feelings that suddenly awaken again. This is the end… I’m stuck again. Shoot me— I want to lie next to her and get my share of painkillers.
Her eyelashes slowly flutter open. My gaze swims…
“ Koshkina… ” I swallow the lump in my throat.
“ Alenka—my daughter? ”
With disobedient hands she rips off the oxygen mask.
“ Disappear… Aidarov… she’s mine only… ”