I’ve long stopped being able to feel fear. I lived by rigid plans and rules, not allowing myself pity or compassion, not thinking about others. I learned not to feel and took pride in my invulnerability. I thought of myself not as a killer, but as a winner who does what must be done—until one young girl showed me my true face. She became my oasis—instant, like a mirage—beautiful like a dream, and that very weakness I couldn’t afford. The novel contains cruel scenes.