Unquenchable Thirst

I sat by an old mill, watching the lights in the windows of houses. And I imagined how people in kitchens, at tables, drink tea and chat about trifles. A cozy world that belonged to someone else… In my world, there was a road to nowhere and a fear of meeting passersby. I was twenty-five, and behind my back was a whole life. A long and joyless one… I could run away, go somewhere. I had no money, but that wasn’t the problem. I could manage the way I had before. The passport was with me… I’d have to destroy it…

I thought about many things, and only thoughts of Martin I drove away. Too painful, too scary… The moon had hidden behind the clouds, and it became completely dark. I had to go back. In the old man’s house, the light was on. He wasn’t asleep—he was waiting for me.

I was glad I had at least this refuge. I opened the door, stepped into the hallway… The very same instant something crashed down on my head—a whole firework exploded in my eyes. And then it went out…