There was no room for calm in my life. I’m a “party girl,” a restless little nymph who loves clubs and fun. And I also love speed. It runs through my veins mixed with blood. When Jimmy Choo shoes slip off my feet and the engine of my blue Nissan comes alive, there’s no place for carelessness, and I let myself be truly who I am. I dreamed of finding love—and found my ruin. I dreamed of diving into tenderness and passion—and drowned in my own humiliation, turning it into the meaning of life. I dissolved in it so completely that I don’t see where I’m swimming anymore. And I don’t see any point in trying to swim ashore either… Contains profanity.