My Real Life

"My Real Life" is Oleg Tabakov’s autobiographical prose. About a happy childhood in Saratov (despite the war, because “everyone — loved”). About his first years in Moscow. About unforgettable meetings. About that legendary “Sovremennik.” About cinema. About trips. And, of course, about “Tabakerka”… In his article “The Actor,” which opens the book, Anatoly Smelyansky speaks of Tabakov: “He envies no one, blames no one for his problems, because he is himself full of a sense of adequacy.” The book is written by a person ready to go into details, but unwilling to waste energy on trifles and on what is uninteresting—and on those who are uninteresting. Perhaps the main distinguishing feature of the book is that almost no one is written about negatively in particular. Names—there are so many of them—are mentioned only if anything worth attention has been done. For those who don’t deserve such mention—“one actor” or something similar. And if there is no name, then there is no person. Recollections of childhood, meetings with different people, work in theater and cinema are well “rehearsed” and, I suppose, have been repeated more than once. A look at today’s “Tabakerka” is interested, but fairly calm: a consistent description of the latest performances, an analysis of actors’ possibilities and prospects. Throughout the book, the idea is repeated that an actor must act, that he needs success, and reflections on what success is; the highest praise is a truly characteristic actor. About himself: “Being on stage is my real life. Everything else is either preparation for it or rest.” And most of all “reflections” are devoted to “Sovremennik,” beginning with his appointment as theater director. Not much has been written about this period, and so it’s even more interesting to read about it not only at the level of “facts.” Perhaps it was exactly this stage, not yet turned into “history” up to today, that largely determined how we see Oleg Tabakov today—knowing his place and understanding his role.