Well, fate tripped me, that’s for sure. First it shoved me face-first into something like a fantasy world with elves. You see, I’m supposed to be handed over as a ransom. “Wanted a prince?”—“Got one. Sign here.” Yes, I dreamed of a prince, but I didn’t plan to be his toy and the toy of his rightful wives. Nothing—I'll show them all where the crayfish hibernate…