Hey, naked monkey! What, didn’t you expect to run into an alien? Ha! Trust me, I’m still the most harmless option—things are going to be much worse when the Swarm of creatures that devours entire worlds shows up. It, by the way, will arrive in about ten years, and then you’re all done.
What? You want to stay alive? Then sign up for the Legion!
The Legion is your chance to make money. And money is your ticket to survival. And yes… Not a word about the Legion. Nobody will believe you anyway.