Mind the Gap: The Truth About Desire and How to Futureproof Your Sex Life

Historically, it has been hard for women to get pleasure from sex, and in an active couple only the man should be the one driving it. We rely on culture, religion, rumors, and the media—and completely forget facts: we forget about ourselves. Social norms made us believe that:
• women feel ashamed to want sex, and getting pleasure from it—especially so.
• sex matters more to men than to women.
• it’s more important to give your partner pleasure than to get it yourself.
• it’s better to simulate an orgasm than to sort out the relationship afterward.

That’s not true. Psychologist and sexologist Karen Gurney talks about how we program our own brains for certain sexual scripts. And we can enjoy not only the climax, but also the process itself. It’s hard to talk about sex, but in couples who discuss their intimate life and share their desires, not only the sex is better—so are the relationships. Karen Gurney explores the nature of women’s and men’s desire, the factors it depends on, and explains how to overcome the main problem—the gap between what we think our sex life should be and what it really is. The most important thing to remember: desire lives between people, not inside just one person.