Are You Kidding Me? How to Teach Your Child to Manage Emotions When They Won't Listen

“Are you kidding? I can’t take it anymore!”—this is a thought many parents know when a child throws tantrums, argues endlessly, and ignores the word “no.” In such moments, children can’t reason clearly or behave “the right way”—they need support from an adult. Relying on modern scientific ideas about how a child’s brain works, psychologist Allison Edwards shows how to help a child and teenager learn emotional regulation skills. The book contains practical exercises for developing emotional intelligence in children and adults, ready-made phrases and step-by-step action scripts during a tantrum, as well as advice for parents and teachers on organizing the space of a child’s room or a school classroom so that it helps stabilize the child’s emotional state. You’ll learn how to understand what’s happening to the child during an emotional outburst, how to stay calm even when the situation seems unmanageable, how to notice the consequences of psychological trauma, and how to gently support the child—and also how to restore calm, trust, and closeness in the family by replacing confrontation with cooperation.

Allison Edwards is a licensed psychologist and a play therapy specialist working with children, teens, and families. She created a play therapy program for children from at-risk groups and immigrant families in public schools and teaches at Vanderbilt University, training future counselors in effective interaction with children.