Could I have thought that I would come to him of my own free will? Crawl over? Beg for help? No. Never. Not ever. And here I am walking to his office down that long dark corridor, which used to seem endless, and today seems to have shrunk to the size of a vestibule. I raise my swollen eyes to Katya, his secretary, and she, without waiting for my question, silently points one finger and nods toward the door.