Rest, Play, Grow: Making Sense of Toddlers (Or Anyone Who Acts Like One)

Deborah MacNamara’s book “Calm, Play, Develop” is the third volume in the “Newfeld Institute Library” series. It continues examining the model of personality development based on Gordon Neufeld’s attachment theory. The book focuses on preschool-age children. Without exaggeration, Deborah MacNamara wrote a complete guide for parents on how to understand the essence of children’s inner world. By showing that preschool age plays a decisive role in developing the ability to form relationships, she considers the immaturity inherent to a child of that age—not as a flaw that must be immediately fixed, but as part of the developmental plan. The main human problem, the author argues convincingly, is that not all of us “grow up” as we get older. Only by understanding preschoolers’ immaturity—what they lack and why—can we grasp the importance of conditions that are favorable for true maturation, and therefore learn about ourselves and fulfill the task of parenting children. After all, if we know what the Nature requires and can provide those conditions, then we can relax a little—and then enjoy the fruits of spontaneous growth.