Surviving Divorce: Universal Rules

Dear listeners!

I present to you an audio version of the book “How to Survive a Divorce,” which I wrote after several years of working as a doctor-psychotherapist in the crisis department of the Pavlov Clinic of Neuroses in St. Petersburg.

Among my patients there were both suicid al patients and those who had become victims of brutal violence, as well as refugees from hot spots. However, about half of all the beds in our department—over 60 patients—were always occupied by women experiencing divorce. In this way, many hundreds of divorces passed through my hands, if I may put it that way. And divorces, as you understand, weren’t the easiest ones—if a person had to seek help and even be hospitalized in a clinic for neuroses.

At some point, when I worked daily with women going through their divorce, I had a strange feeling: that as soon as I started working with a new patient, I somehow already knew in advance what had happened to her before we met, what would happen after, and how she would cope with this crisis. This feeling seemed strange—even inadequate—because each situation, inevitably, is individual; people, as we know, are all different. So how could I know what was before and what would be?

But subsequent research showed that I wasn’t really mistaken about my conclusions. I truly know it. Yet in my knowledge, unfortunately, there isn’t a gram of clairvoyance or any mysticism. It turned out that divorce has its own very strict and understandable logic. And it is the study of this logic that I devoted the next few years of my work to. After that, all that remained was to find a way to tell all these secrets to my reader—and now also to the listener. And thanks to the huge number of grateful reviews of this book, I know my venture succeeded.

Hundreds of women wrote to me, expressing surprise at where I could know what they thought, felt, and did when they found themselves in a divorce situation. But the main thing was how much easier it became for them to cope with the grief that had fallen on them when they realized that, first, their situation wasn’t out of the ordinary; second, it was absolutely natural; third, it was solvable; and fourth, having gone through it all, they would become stronger and happier.

I really hope that this book will help you as well, if—unfortunately—you have needed it. Although I often—jokingly, with a hint of a joke—heard from my readers that it would be better to give it to newlyweds right on the day of their wedding. Then, maybe, there would be far fewer divorces—an order of magnitude.

In fact, the book itself was written in the genre of a psychotherapeutic conversation, so the audiobook version fits it even more naturally than the paper one. You will witness seven very different women’s stories, and each of them will tell you something very important about divorce—something you simply must know in order to overcome depression, find yourself again, and feel the joy of life.

That’s basically everything I wanted to say at the very beginning. I have only one more thing to do—apologize for the fact that I didn’t dare to record it myself. Recitation, unfortunately, isn’t my strong suit. But a professional handled the task wonderfully.

So listen and believe— we will be able to get through your divorce, and you will definitely return to a normal and happy life.

Sincerely yours, Doctor Kurpatov.