Insatiable Thirst

I sat by the old mill, watching the lights in the windows of houses. And I imagined people in the kitchen at the table drinking tea, chatting about nothing. That’s someone else’s cozy world… In mine, there was a road nowhere and a fear of meeting passersby. I’m twenty-five, and behind me is a whole life. Long and joyless… I could run away, go somewhere. I don’t have money, but that’s not the problem. I’ll manage, like I managed before. The passport is with me… I’ll have to destroy it… I thought about a lot, and only thoughts of Martin drove away everything else. Too painful, too terrifying… The moon hid behind clouds, and it got completely dark. I need to go back. In the old man’s house, the light was on. He isn’t sleeping—he’s waiting for me. I was glad that at least I had this refuge. I opened the door and went into the entryway… At that very moment, something collapsed on my head—like a whole fireworks burst before my eyes. And then everything went out…