It’s not easy being the Dark Prince. First the goblins stage raids, then the vampires won’t drink blood, then the trolls demand a raise. And just when you think things can’t get worse, an incomprehensible woman falls on your head—claiming she is your betrothed—and her two children are constantly trying to smash the castle where you’ve been living for the second thousand years. So how, I ask, are you supposed not to lose your mind?