The Cannibal’s Book of Tasty and Healthy Food

On the tasty and healthy food of a cannibal (or what can be done with naughty and disobedient children)
1. A CONCEITED GIRL WITH A HOT NOSE
Sit a very conceited girl on a frying pan, praise her several times, and as soon as she turns up her nose, pour sunflower oil over her, fry well, and eat with compliments.
2. PICKLED GIRLS
Select dirty, disheveled crybaby girls, wash and comb them, and pack them tightly into a sturdy wooden tub. There is no need to add salt — the girls will cry enough salty tears to fill the whole tub themselves.
3. CURED BOYS
Take several boys who eat nothing and hang them by the scruff on a coat rack in the hallway. Under no circumstances should they be taken down, even if they ask to step out for just a minute. After a few days the boys will acquire a distinctive taste and aroma.