Just Listen
8 hrs. 16 min.
Language
Russian
Author
Mark Goulston
Author
Mark Goulston
Narrator
Vladimir Levasheov
Narrator
Vladimir Levasheov
Description
This book is about how to communicate with unbearable people and still keep a clear mind. Here you’ll find specific techniques of psychological protection from “everyday crazies”—people who infect you with their irrationality and are unable to resolve any issue constructively and reasonably.
About the author:
Marc Goulston is a psychiatrist specializing in business. At the beginning of his career, he worked with individuals prone to suicide and violence. That experience allowed him to create a training program for negotiators for the police and the FBI. Based on his own experience, he developed the ability to convince any people, and the methods he uses for that formed the basis of the book “I Hear You Like a Book.”
Over the past 25 years, Dr. Goulston has worked with organizations at different levels and across different fields, teaching employees skills for listening, persuading, and dismantling “bunkers.” His clients include Goldman Sachs, IBM, Federal Express, Xerox, Deutsche Bank, Bloomberg, Kodak, Wells Fargo, Banc of America, the Los Angeles Police Department, and the FBI. For more than 25 years, Dr. Goulston has been a professor at the famous Neuropsychiatric University at the University of California, Los Angeles, and he was included in the lists of the best psychiatrists in the U.S. for 2004, 2005, and 2009.
He writes articles for Harvard Business Review; he is often asked to give his views for articles in The Wall Street Journal, Fortune, Newsweek, Time, Reuters, NPR, CNN, Fox News, and on Oprah Winfrey’s and Today’s shows."
About the author:
Marc Goulston is a psychiatrist specializing in business. At the beginning of his career, he worked with individuals prone to suicide and violence. That experience allowed him to create a training program for negotiators for the police and the FBI. Based on his own experience, he developed the ability to convince any people, and the methods he uses for that formed the basis of the book “I Hear You Like a Book.”
Over the past 25 years, Dr. Goulston has worked with organizations at different levels and across different fields, teaching employees skills for listening, persuading, and dismantling “bunkers.” His clients include Goldman Sachs, IBM, Federal Express, Xerox, Deutsche Bank, Bloomberg, Kodak, Wells Fargo, Banc of America, the Los Angeles Police Department, and the FBI. For more than 25 years, Dr. Goulston has been a professor at the famous Neuropsychiatric University at the University of California, Los Angeles, and he was included in the lists of the best psychiatrists in the U.S. for 2004, 2005, and 2009.
He writes articles for Harvard Business Review; he is often asked to give his views for articles in The Wall Street Journal, Fortune, Newsweek, Time, Reuters, NPR, CNN, Fox News, and on Oprah Winfrey’s and Today’s shows."
Contents:
Part 1 Basic principles of communication with crazies
Chapter 1 Understanding the crazy
Key: become a crazy yourself
A cycle of prudence instead of the policy “fight or flight”
Chapter 2 Recognize the mechanism of madness
Scientific foundations of madness
Three paths to madness (and one—to sanity)
Temporary and chronic madness
Chapter 3 How to identify the behavior pattern of an irrational person
From individuality to M. O.
Chapter 4 When to talk to a crazy person—and when it’s better not to
A few words about personality disorders
A test for personality disorder
Part 2 Learning the inner crazy
Chapter 5 Recognizing the inner crazy
Chapter 6 Holding back the inner crazy by protecting yourself from attack
The triangle, the cylinder, the triangle
Technique #1 Turning an attack into an opportunity
Technique #2 Remembering mentors
Technique #3 An eight-step pause
An eight-step pause
Learning to stay in your right mind
Chapter 7 Getting your bearings after the crazy’s victory
1. A quick exercise: from “Oh, no” to “Well, what can you do”
2. The 72-hour rule
Apologize to the crazy
Don’t be afraid to try again
Part 3 14 ways of communicating with crazies
Chapter 8 Showing the animal How to make the irrational person the main one and defuse a tense situation
Chapter 9 The I.S.R. technique Scary but effective
Chapter 10 Time travel How to help an irrational person stop clinging to the past and focus on the future
Chapter 11 Hurricane eye How to find sanity in madness
Too many tears
Chapter 12 Digging for disappointment Communication with emotional people who say what they don’t think
Chapter 13 The aquarium How to connect an irrational person’s mirror neurons to the task
Chapter 14 Splitting How to behave with irrational people who try to turn you against others
Chapter 15 The three P’s How to help an irrational person cope with fear
First P: understand your counterpart
Second P: analyze the facts
Third P: the path to the future
Chapter 16 A little flattery How to get an know-it-all to behave well
Chapter 17 The rescue order How to get a victim to accept help
Chapter 18 Shockwave repair How to turn the irrational person’s methods to your advantage
Chapter 19 Decisive refusal and polite refusal How to say “no” to a manipulator
Decisive refusal
Polite refusal
Chapter 20 Friends-enemies How to deal with the “crooked mirror”
Chapter 21 I know what you’re hiding How to get rid of a sociopath in your life
Part 4 Eight ways to cope with madness in personal life
Chapter 22 Have you lost the feeling of love? How to overcome mutual madness in relationships
Chapter 23 Cushioning shock How to achieve mutual understanding with an emotional partner
Chapter 24 The imitator How to get a strong and silent partner to talk
Chapter 25 The child A or child B? How to survive a divorce without destroying the lives of children
Chapter 26 “What’s the worst for you?” How to care for a suffering parent, partner, or child
Chapter 27 Reconnection How to restore relationships with an grown-up child
Chapter 28 Closing based on an assumption How to convince an elderly parent to accept help
Chapter 29 Four N’s and four R’s Restoring relationships ruined by an irrational person
Four N’s
Four R’s
Part 5 What to do in case of a real mental disorder
Chapter 30 Where to turn when there’s serious deviation?
Clinical psychiatry
Psychotherapy
Psychosocial rehabilitation
Consultations
Mentorship
Find the right approach
Chapter 31 How to convince someone to accept help
1. Listen
2. Sympathize
3. Agree
4. Understand
5. Act
Don’t expect the impossible
Chapter 32 What to do if your loved one wants to commit suicide
Chapter 33 It should have been possible, it should have been done—How to prevent mass school killings
Epilogue
Chapter 1 Understanding the crazy
Key: become a crazy yourself
A cycle of prudence instead of the policy “fight or flight”
Chapter 2 Recognize the mechanism of madness
Scientific foundations of madness
Three paths to madness (and one—to sanity)
Temporary and chronic madness
Chapter 3 How to identify the behavior pattern of an irrational person
From individuality to M. O.
Chapter 4 When to talk to a crazy person—and when it’s better not to
A few words about personality disorders
A test for personality disorder
Part 2 Learning the inner crazy
Chapter 5 Recognizing the inner crazy
Chapter 6 Holding back the inner crazy by protecting yourself from attack
The triangle, the cylinder, the triangle
Technique #1 Turning an attack into an opportunity
Technique #2 Remembering mentors
Technique #3 An eight-step pause
An eight-step pause
Learning to stay in your right mind
Chapter 7 Getting your bearings after the crazy’s victory
1. A quick exercise: from “Oh, no” to “Well, what can you do”
2. The 72-hour rule
Apologize to the crazy
Don’t be afraid to try again
Part 3 14 ways of communicating with crazies
Chapter 8 Showing the animal How to make the irrational person the main one and defuse a tense situation
Chapter 9 The I.S.R. technique Scary but effective
Chapter 10 Time travel How to help an irrational person stop clinging to the past and focus on the future
Chapter 11 Hurricane eye How to find sanity in madness
Too many tears
Chapter 12 Digging for disappointment Communication with emotional people who say what they don’t think
Chapter 13 The aquarium How to connect an irrational person’s mirror neurons to the task
Chapter 14 Splitting How to behave with irrational people who try to turn you against others
Chapter 15 The three P’s How to help an irrational person cope with fear
First P: understand your counterpart
Second P: analyze the facts
Third P: the path to the future
Chapter 16 A little flattery How to get an know-it-all to behave well
Chapter 17 The rescue order How to get a victim to accept help
Chapter 18 Shockwave repair How to turn the irrational person’s methods to your advantage
Chapter 19 Decisive refusal and polite refusal How to say “no” to a manipulator
Decisive refusal
Polite refusal
Chapter 20 Friends-enemies How to deal with the “crooked mirror”
Chapter 21 I know what you’re hiding How to get rid of a sociopath in your life
Part 4 Eight ways to cope with madness in personal life
Chapter 22 Have you lost the feeling of love? How to overcome mutual madness in relationships
Chapter 23 Cushioning shock How to achieve mutual understanding with an emotional partner
Chapter 24 The imitator How to get a strong and silent partner to talk
Chapter 25 The child A or child B? How to survive a divorce without destroying the lives of children
Chapter 26 “What’s the worst for you?” How to care for a suffering parent, partner, or child
Chapter 27 Reconnection How to restore relationships with an grown-up child
Chapter 28 Closing based on an assumption How to convince an elderly parent to accept help
Chapter 29 Four N’s and four R’s Restoring relationships ruined by an irrational person
Four N’s
Four R’s
Part 5 What to do in case of a real mental disorder
Chapter 30 Where to turn when there’s serious deviation?
Clinical psychiatry
Psychotherapy
Psychosocial rehabilitation
Consultations
Mentorship
Find the right approach
Chapter 31 How to convince someone to accept help
1. Listen
2. Sympathize
3. Agree
4. Understand
5. Act
Don’t expect the impossible
Chapter 32 What to do if your loved one wants to commit suicide
Chapter 33 It should have been possible, it should have been done—How to prevent mass school killings
Epilogue
18:35
01_01_Ponimaem sumasshedshih.
28:32
01_02_RaspoznaYom mehanizm bezumiya.
19:03
01_03_RaspoznaYom mehanizm bezumiya.
19:50
01_04_RaspoznaYom mehanizm bezumiya.
18:36
02_05_RaspoznaYom vnutrennego sumasshedshego.
20:07
02_06_Sderzhivaem vnutrennego psiha, zaschischayas ot ataki
15:46
02_07_Prihodim v sebya posle pobedy sumasshedshego
17:34
03_08_Pokazat zhivot.
18:35
03_09_Tehnika ISR
19:01
03_10_Puteshestvie vo vremeni
18:22
03_11_Glaz uragana
10:44
03_12_Dokopatsya do razocharovaniya
14:26
03_13_Akvarium
09:32
03_14_Rasscheplenie
12:04
03_15_Tri P
09:50
03_16_Nemnogo lesti
07:30
03_17_Prikaz o spasenii
12:59
03_18_Protivoudarnoe povrezhdenie
11:09
03_19_Reshitelnyy otkaz i vezhlivyy otkaz
10:51
03_20_Druzya-vragi
10:17
03_21_Ya znayu, chto ty skryvaesh
15:39
04_22_Vy utratili chuvstvo lyubvi!
10:33
04_23_Amortizatsiya shoka
05:17
04_24_Imitator.
10:25
04_25_Rebenok A ili rebenok B!
12:31
04_26_«CHto dlya tebya huzhe vsego!»
09:07
04_27_Vossoedinenie
10:01
04_28_Zavershenie na osnove dopuscheniya
15:06
04_29_Chetyre N i chetyre R
31:48
05_30_Kuda obratitsya pri sereznom otklonenii!
25:46
05_31_Kak ubedit cheloveka prinyat pomosch.
10:29
05_32_Chto delat, esli vash blizkiy hochet pokonchit s soboy.
14:18
05_33_Nado bylo, mozhno bylo, sledovalo by
01:52
06_Epilog
