No Intimacy Offered!

Life is such a strange thing. Just yesterday I was dreaming that, after getting my diploma, I’d move to the U.S. permanently, to the guy I met online. And today—like an idiot—I’m standing by my apartment entrance in a wedding dress, in boat shoes, holding a bouquet of dwarf roses, waiting for the very, very—most awesome—rich snob idiot whose wife I’ll be soon. And what the hell made me sign up for this adventure?