Let’s be quiet. If I start talking now, we’ll argue, and I’ll lock her in my apartment. Her husband won’t see her!
But they make it clear to me that I’m not grown-up enough. I don’t deserve either her or a relationship with her. It hurts. It turns me inside out. It’s something unbearably awful when you’re pushed away by the one without whom you now can’t breathe.
“I’m going,” he steps away.
I go cold without her.
“To him? After what he did?!” I clench my jaw, but I don’t look back. I can’t.
“Only work, Van. Don’t need anything else. It will hurt both of us. Sorry…”
He slams the door, then the second…
She lies to herself, lies to me. It drives me crazy. And I’m consumed by jealousy because for some reason he’s better than me. He treats her like a jerk, but every evening she still goes back to him. Maybe I really don’t understand anything? Maybe she’s right?