We’re glad to see you among our clients! You knocked into level one hundred of the "TrollDom" agency. If you need casting of a curse/hex, a jinx, a crown of celibacy, or the evil eye—press one.
Ordering funerals for enemies and wealthy relatives, sealing, burial, putting to rest, and severance—press two.
Hiring a specialist for an annual re-education/accounting review, audit, inventory, information gathering, spying, filing claims against the treasury—press three.
If you need an escort, guard, boyfriend, bride, wife, children, or an elderly grandma for one evening—press four.
For resolving delicate matters and getting professional consultation—press five.