I’ll send my boss on vacation.
Only not to a resort, but to the very backwoods—a village in the middle of nowhere.
So hang on, boss: you’ll have to help deliver piglets to a sow and save yourself by running from impudent geese. And believe me, this is just a warm-up for what’s waiting for you there.
***
— Wake up!
And in the very next second, an icy waterfall crashes down from the ceiling of my office onto me.
My consciousness clicks into place, and I jolt up, surfacing out of the dream.
Only now do I understand: I’m soaked to the bone—my assistant doused me with water.
— What the hell is going on?!
In my head, there’s thick fog; thoughts won’t gather.
— What’s going on? We’re having a birth, Herman Stepanovich! And you’re lying here like a corpse. Get up—quick!
— Where?! — I’m still not understanding anything, but I still stand up.
— To the birth!
Good God… But who’s giving birth?!
Just don’t let it be her grandpa.