Understanding that you’ve fallen in love is too difficult. And if this person violates all taboos and awakens a fear fueled by the strongest arousal and the desire to go further, then there’s only one way out left: fight.
Against him and his habits, clinging to the hope of a reciprocal feeling. Struggle against yourself, knowing that otherwise you won’t get out of the darkness he has surrounded himself with.
Pull him out and love him. Love. Secretly. Quietly. Close by.