Lecture: "Is He, by Any Chance, an Abuser?"

There used to be a belief that violence in the family is limited only to physical beatings. If there is no physical violence, then, it seems, everything is fine—even if the situation was unbearable and frightening. Later, however, psychologists drew attention to the concept of abuse and emphasized that a family or workplace tyrant can show cruelty even without physical violence. Psychological pressure, humiliation, and moral mockery can cause deep pain and destroy the victim’s personality. It is believed that an abuser acts this way unconsciously, due to their own psychological problems—whether it’s sociopathy or narcissism. The most important thing for the victim is to recognize the toxicity of such relationships and leave them as soon as possible.

In a lecture with Elena Novoselova, we plan to discuss why we enter abusive relationships, whether it’s possible to help a tyrant change, whether children can be abusers toward their parents, and whether breaking up is the only way out for the victim. Novoselova explains that the abuser’s accusations are not connected to the victim’s real actions; they are a consequence of the abuser’s own complexes. Elena Novoselova, an experienced psychologist, radio host, and author of books, will share in her lecture how to recognize in yourself the role of an abuse victim and leave destructive relationships—stopping yourself from blaming yourself for what oppresses you.