Poetic adapted retelling of “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.” This is not a verse translation by Demurova or Zakhoder, but an original author’s version—sometimes free, sometimes following the English original more closely. Comparing more than twenty Russian- and Ukrainian-language adaptations and checking them against “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland” (1865), I was amazed at how freely translators handled Lewis Carroll’s text. Thanks to them, “quotes” of the Cheshire Cat or the Mad Hatter appeared online—utterly unrelated to the original. Then I thought: if everyone can, why can’t I? And I set out to do it. Absurd dialogues and funny puns, cool parodies, dumb songs, and even strange dances—all here. There are only no illustrations, but that’s a matter of time. After all, Alice didn’t like books without pictures and conversations. The idea to turn Carroll’s long and complex fairy tale into poetry came at the beginning of March 2022, and working on it helped the author—if only for a little while—escape reality.